The Struggles of College Life.

Hey everyone! I know it has been 5 days since I have posted anything. To be completely transparent with all of you, college has been really hard lately. This week and a few days of last week I was dealing with something I never thought I would go through. I was accused of plagiarism. This whole situation physically and emotionally drained me. I have cried at least 7 times this week and last. I now know what I did, and have learned from my mistakes enough to know that I will never do it again, I guess I just didn't understand, but honestly who really does? Especially being someone like me who has never gotten into trouble for anything. In dealing with this situation I felt like I was portrayed as a bad student. The professor I was dealing with made me think and feel like plagiarism wasn't a big deal to me. When it truly is. The professor spoke to me like I was a child. The situation did not get handled the way I thought it was going to be handled. I had so many people telling me that if I were them, I should report him. I had 3 professors tell me that they would have handled it a lot differently and the situation just seemed fishy to them. My professor. Someone who is supposed to help me and guide me, NEVER talked about the situation to me and just reported me to someone higher up, and kept counting be absent in his class, when it's all online and I was told by these higher up people that I couldn't go back to class until basically my punishment was served without me even knowing what I did. Every time I talked about it, it made me want to cringe, throw up, and cry and it honestly made my chest hurt. It hurts to know that someone who doesn't even know me would make some preconceived notion about me. He tried to say that on his report that he wrote about me that I was supposed to come talk to him. NO WHERE in this violation order said that I had to come talk to him. (That's all I am going to share about the situation)

When this happened, I let it affect me so much to point where I couldn't focus on any of my other school work. I now have learned from my mistakes and do things better next time to where he can't accused me of cheating anymore, and to where he will look at my work and know that I wrote that and won't say it was someone else's.

Let's just say that I have a lot of build up anger towards this guy but at the end of the day, I am called to love him. I am called to forgive him even though he wronged me, and even though he did things to where I feel like I can't. I am going to pray for the guy, even when I want to say mean things about him. All of my professor that I talked to said "I would never imagine Kayleah to do something like this, or something like this happens to her." The worst things happen to good people. There isn't anything we can do to change it. We've got to accept it, put our big pants on, learn from our mistakes, and move on. We shouldn't let this affect knowing our true worth, we are worth more than the situations that we go through. I thought I was stupid, I thought I was horrible, I thought I was a liar when I just didn't understand. Life will go on, even though this will be something I will always have in the back of my mind.

Hopefully the blogs will be back to their normal schedule. Thank you for tuning into my tea blog post.

Love, Kayleah Allen