I'm Learning...

• I'm learning how to love myself again.

• I'm learning that it is okay to not be okay.

• I'm learning to embrace the body that God gave me.

• I'm learning that it is okay to say no. -I don't know how to do this.. at all. My therapist has helped me see that I have to do what's best for me. She told me that I can feel good for only a second if I say yes but if I say no then I will feel better and get to do the things that I needed to do like rest.

• I'm learning that my feelings are valid.

• I'm learning to not let anger control my life. -My therapist gave a really good analogy, she took a piece of paper and wrote anger. She then took the piece of paper and put it in front of her face. She said "When you have this anger, it blind sides you, you can't see anything around you because you are so focused on the anger. She then said that you can try to push the anger out of the way but it will continue to creep back up and blindside you. The last thing she told me was that I have to acknowledge that I have these feelings but I have to let it go. Which is something I have a hard time of doing as well, but once again... I'm learning.

• I'm learning that I am not a disappointment.

• I'm learning to not let people take advantage of me just because I have a big heart. -I have a really hard time of letting people walk all over me, and being a goody two shoes.

• I'm learning that when I got rejected from a boy that I really liked, it means that he wasn't the one, and God has someone better waiting for me.

• I'm learning to love myself in a swimsuit.

• I'm learning that when I feel tired I need to rest. -Mentally, Spiritually, and Physically.

• I'm learning that I was put on this Earth for a reason.

• I'm learning that God has a plan all laid out for my life and I need to put the control in his hands.

• I'm learning that my grades don't define me.

• I'm learning that I can't fill others cups until I fill my own first.

• I'm learning that just because I haven't had a boyfriend, doesn't mean I am not loved.

• I'm learning that my anxiety isn't a way to teach me a lesson.

• I'm learning that doctors aren't out to get me, they care about me and want what's best for my health.

• I'm learning who my true friends are, and who will be in my life for the long term.

• I'm learning to not give up when things get hard.

• I'm learning to be vulnerable and that it is okay to release my feelings but at the end of the day I need to let it go.

• I'm learning that I wanna be healthier to achieve my life goal of becoming a mom.

• I'm learning that I am a child of God.

• I'm learning that the separation of my parents was never my fault. -I was angry when they split up, I blamed a lot of stuff on myself. I didn't want to see my mom and dad get together with other people, but now I know that it was for the better, and they deserve love and happiness, even if it isn't with each other.

• I'm learning that I am both an introvert and an extrovert. -I have social anxiety but I also love talking to people. I don't get out of my comfort zones a lot because of my anxieties.

• I'm learning that it is okay to cry. -I don't cry often. I let the tears well up inside of me until I can't take it anymore, and just burst.

• I'm learning that you can't grow flowers without the rain.

• I'm learning that I don't have to impress myself to no one. -For years I have felt like I constantly have to impress myself to everyone I meet, I don't want to do that anymore. I just want to be myself.

• I'm learning that I don't need constant validation. -I grew up not really having validation, so I basically crave it. I feel like I need someone to constantly tell me that they are proud of me, to actually feel like I am doing something right. Basically it is like an addiction, I constantly crave it but it will never be enough... I will keep wanting more.

• I'm learning that relationships are a two way street. I shouldn't be the only one that is "actively" participating in the friendship.

• I'm learning that I am enough.

and.... I'm learning how to be the Kayleah I once knew again.

So, I originally posted this video to Tik Tok, and I wanted to share it with everyone who isn’t on my Tik Tok and to my blog.

Remember you are loved, you are strong, and you are worth it. These tears that you are crying, the quick sand that you are standing it, and the dark cloud surrounding your life aren’t going to be there for long. They are fulfilling a greater purpose. To grow you. To grow you into a stronger version of yourself. Just know that your feelings are valid and you are meant to be here. 💛

If you are comfortable.. put in the comments what you are learning. I would love to hear it, I would also love to pray for you. I love to pray that God would work in your life to help you get better at whatever it is you are learning. I am re-learning a lot of these things because of a lot of things I have struggled with for years. I have lacked in self-confidence for years now. I am growing to become a better version of myself.

I love you guys.

Love, Kayleah Allen